Monday, July 23, 2012

Those Without A Functioning Cerebral Cortex

Al Michaels: Second and ten...Vick hands off to McCoy...Big hole here! 25....30....up to the 40!  McCoy is finally taken down by number 91, Justin Tuck.

Chris Collinsworth (during the replay): Big time hustle here, Al. Tuck was all tangled up here with number 79, right tackle Todd Herremans, and he ran down the Eagles' fastest player from behind. Tuck doesn't know the meaning of the word "quit", Al. Uh-oh! Here's a flag!

Al Michaels: Let's get the call from Ed Hoculi.

Ed Hoculi: Holding, number 79 offense! 10 yard penalty, repeat second down. When New York takes possession, they too will be penalized 10 yards. Holding will no longer be tolerated by this officiating crew for the remainder of this game. We have to take a stand somehow.

Al Michaels: What the---(shuffling papers)----I'm stunned. I've never heard of such a call. Can we---Can we get the NFL---This makes no sense whatsoever. I'm speechless.

Chris Collinsworth: Well Al, Giants coach Tom Coughlin is NOT speechless. He's really tearing into Hoculi. I've never seen a human being turn bright purple before.


The above hypothetical seems pretty stupid, right ? After all, it was the Eagles who broke the rules, not the Giants. Common sense dictates that that the guilty party should be punished for their infraction. Even if you're not a football nut like I am, you would instantly recognize that the referee in the hypothetical, Ed Hochuli, was being grossly unfair to the Giants. In other words, it's a 2+2=4 situation for most folks.

Note that I said "most folks". There's one group that would think the above hypothetical is perfectly acceptable: Liberals, or as I like to call them, Those Without A Functioning Cerebral Cortex.

 A great example of this is their calls for strict gun control in the wake of the "Batman" shooting in Colorado. Before the families of the victims had a chance to catch their breath, the liberal "intelligensia" sprung into action, demanding action. Imperial Senator Diane Frankenfeinstein (H/T Mark Levin) went on the FOX Neocon Channel (FNC) to run her fat mouth about the "Assault" Weapon Ban of the 90's. Michael Bloomturd (H/T Mark Levin) certainly didn't miss out on his chance to talk up the Police State on Deface the Nation, and neither did Deface the Nation's host, Bob Schieffer. Reliable RINO Bill Kristol also put his two cents in as well, calling himself a "squish" on gun control. Bill Moyers lived up to his billing as the World's Biggest Liberal Hack On The Public Dole and said that the NRA is an  "enabler of death -- paranoid, delusional, and as venomous as a scorpion". (All five of his viewers were impressed by his poetic verse, I'm sure.) Needless to say, this Sunday's news shows were even more unwatchable than usual. All were using the same 2+2=5 logic that was used in the above hypothetical.

Ladies and gentlemen, I know you've heard this a thousand times before, but it's worth repeating a thousand more times: Gun control and gun laws only punish law-abiding citizens. Criminals, by their very nature, couldn't care less about the rule of law. They're simply going to get their guns on the street or wait around for another Fast and Furious-like screw up. It's that simple---and that deadly.

We the People can't let these morons continually spew their nonsense unchecked. The Right to Bear Arms is a precious gift from God Almighty Himself. Once it's gone, it will be gone forever. I don't know about you, but I don't think Those Without A Functioning Cerebral Cortex should be the sole arbiters of what is and what is not the correct method of protecting my family and my home. Just sayin'.

(PS---Ed Hochuli is one of the finest referees in the NFL. The only reason why I picked him for my hypothetical is the fact that he's probably the best known official in the NFL. Please Ed, whatever you do, don't hold this against my Giants.)

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